Lost

This heartbreak is unbearable,

Remember back then when I told you the scariest thing in life that could happen to me?
-Losing my family and the man I love.

Now I lost both,

See, I've told you this heartbreak is unbearable.

My Memory of...

I wish you were here

Do you remember that night, I was sobbing under the cover?
I tried to keep as low so that you won't hear me.
But you did. Hear me sobbing.
You got anxious,confused. What's wrong baby? Did I do something that hurt you? What is it? Are you sick? Are you OK?
And that sob became louder, intensed. Running out of ideas, you hold me close. Put my face againts your chest.
Like I always liked it, like You always liked it.

And the tears subsided,


He's holding me close now. Like you always did.
Something somewhere is wrong cause I can't sleep.
My mind wanders to you , to us.
And the smell of your skin.

Owh,

On top of everything I miss the way you smell the most.
I miss it.

Better yet, I miss the way I love you.
Intensed.
Now, it was just about comfort.

How I wish you were here.
With me Now.

I'm sorry that I'm not.

How to be sorry when I'm not.
How to be sorry when I'm actually glad.
How to be sorry when parts of me secretly wished for this.

How to be sorry when I'm not.

Give me pain ,
so I'll break.
Squeeze my heart ,
till my tear drop.
Cut me
so I'll bleed.

Or

Hate me, just hate me.

Give me reasons to be sorry
Because I'm not.

Give me reasons to be sorry
Because I'm ready.

El cambio

Things in our life changes everyday. And it changes everything. Whether you like it or not.

Do you know when exactly things in your life start's to change?

You don't even realise it, don't you?

Me too.

Well, I am 24 now, just got a new job, need to move to a new house, meeting new people.

When did I get from there? (finger pointing to the left) to here? (finger's pointing to the right with an arced eyebrow).

Well, life's changed babe, whether you are aware of it, or not.

You can't undo it, cannot reverse it, or go back.

Embrace the change, make the best of it, Love it.

Because

It was all that you can do  ;)

It won't stay, It'll change.

And you'll miss your chances.

Change is not a bad thing  you know.

Life give you misery, then it will bring you happiness,

Life brings you crappy boyfriends, then it bring you your soulmate,

Life give you  praises, later it will bring you down,

It brings you hardship, then it replace it with greatness,

Or

It can be the other way around.

All you can do is,

Embrace it,

Make the best of it, 

Love it.

Love it, like I love you!

Love me because I won't always be here baby! 

Love me

Love me before I'm gone.

Cool la weyh!!!

Definisi cool adalah sangat subjektif.

and here are the list of things that i find are COOL:


1.Makcik/akak umur 30+ pakai seluar track, dengan big T-shirt dan pakai sandal , but drives a BMW M6. Ok, that is cool.of course, for me.


2.Gadis melayu yang mengekalkan ciri-ciri Melayu dan Islam merantau ke Eropah, Asia Pasifik, or anywhere else in the world , solo.Pendek kata macam HanaKirana la.Kalau pergi melancong ke Eropah bersama kawan-lawan atau famili dengan perbelanjaan ditanggung oleh bapa adalah tidak cool.Take note.


3. Grey's Anatomy
4.Hanie Hidayah
5.Hummer
6.Manhattan
7. Sony Nex-5 camera (sooo coollllll, and smart too)


Dan selalunya definisi cool bagi setiap orang tak sama, kalau sama tu, mungkin kebetulan. Kalau bagi sesetengah orang, smoking, drinking, clubbing, partying is cool, tapi  mungkin pada yang jakun-jakun lain seperti saya (ahem) this is not cool. Bagi saya biasa-biasa sahaja.

Yang terpaling tak cool  adalah bila kita merubah identiti diri , becoming someone we're not, hanya semata-mata mahu dimartabat cool oleh orang sekeliling.

Woih, kau jadi macam diorang pun, bukannya diorang yang bagi kau makan. Duuuhhhh!
Saya kasihan pada orang-orang macam ini, hidup untuk orang lain, bukan untuk diri sendiri.
So not "cool".


Terima hakikat bahawa semua orang tak sama, setiap satu punya ciri yang berbeza-beza, keistimewaan yang berbeza-beza. Dan pandangan yang berbeza-beza.Tapi jangan pula terlalu taksub dengan diri sendiri sampai menolak segala perubahan dalam hidup. Hidup cuma sekali, kerna mati pun hanya sekali.
Change for the better, for your own sake, not other's. Because when you change who you are for someone's else's sake, you just become pathetic. And pathetic is not cool, at all.

cool eyh!

Love,,,
Me! :)